We all need good friends and positive relationships to feel happy. But some of us fail to spot the one-sided, destructive relationships. These are the relationships where one person gets all the benefits while the other is left with nothing. Relationships are meant to be mutually beneficial and when one is noticeably less devoted to it’s success then something is definitely not right.

Destructive relationships are particularly bad for your self-esteem. The person taking advantage of the situation has the ability to make you feel very miserable and even guilty for not providing them with all the advice and support that they want. I’ve had my fair share of those types of relationships.  Not only do they not appreciate the help that you’ve already provided but they seek even more.  They expect your help immediately and they see it as a mandatory, rather than a generous act. Destructive relationships are those that lead you to feeling upset, lacking energy, and feeling drained.

We all know when we are stuck in this type of relationship… So why do we humour it? We hang on to these destructive relationships not because we are afraid to lose a “friend”, but because we are afraid to classify ourselves as a “bad friend”. It is important to understand that dropping destructive relationships does not correlate with being a bad friend.

We must surround ourselves with the people who want us to be successful, happy and healthy in life. A relationship between two people will never blossom if one person constantly takes while the other only gives.

Identify the people in your life that provide nothing and realize the importance of letting them go for the sake of your well-being. Energy transfers, so if bad energy is within a person close to you there is a chance that this energy will transfer to you sooner or later.

Remember: Relationships are meant for the purpose of bringing out the best in two people.

Before letting your old friends go try to express your concerns… who knows, they may listen and realize that they need to balance out their side of friendship and stop building destructive relationships.

Good luck!

Sometimes my falling apart was the result of a deep meditation; sometimes just a conversation…  All I know is that when we stop running and hiding it feels like we are falling apart.  It feels like we are losing control, it’s scary and awkward but at the same time it’s freeing.

It allows us to be who we really are without all the constraints of the mind.

Falling apart is temporary, it’s not forever.  Your mind would love to convince you that it is going to be permanent.  That’s how it stays in control and keeps you from letting go…

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How do you know you are resisting falling apart?  Here are 5 common signs:

1. Being non-stop busy throughout the day and having little time for yourself.  It feels like there is never enough time in the day for you.
2. Putting other people’s needs before your own.  You are often worried about what other people need or want and put yourself further down on the priority list.
3. Not a fan of doing ‘nothing’.  The thought of sitting still scares the crap out of you… you may die of boredom.
4. Can’t remember the last time you listened to your gut or intuition.  Making decisions is more kneejerk rather than checking in with you to finding out what feels right.
5. Seeing unhealthy patterns in personal relationships.  You have different people coming and going in your life but you see the same patterns showing up.  What are they trying to teach you?

Usually, (not always though) when we honestly face ourselves it can feel like we are falling apart.  We are actually creating more wholeness and peace so it’s okay to fall apart; it’s more than okay… it’s perfect.

Are you up for the challenge?

Are you in the process of discovering your passion and purpose and think that you may want to become a life coach? That’s awesome! Life coaching can be a very rewarding and gratifying profession… But wait, there are some questions you need to ask yourself before you step onto this path:

1. Is this work truly going to make you happy? Life coaches assist people who are in major transitional phases in their life. When you imagine giving support to others, so they can get through major life transitions, do you get excited? Does the idea just make you feel blessed, invigorated, and full of joy? Do you passionately believe that you can facilitate healing and offer a valuable service in order to help improve their life? 

2. Can you handle uncertainty? First of all, running a business takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears if you want to lay down a good foundation. When you start your own life coaching business, you’ll probably have to wear every hat–from bookkeeper to salesman—and have a plan for each area of the business. Are you comfortable with that? Secondly, some months are good and others are not. There will be no steady “paycheck” and business may not be steady; on the other hand, whether you fail or succeed, your life is in your own hands and you will determine your own financial fate and your reputation for helping others!

3. Are you willing to chase a dream your whole life? Following your passion is challenging and at times you will want to walk away (totally expected). You will know you are on the right path if you prefer to follow a dream your whole life than ever admit that it might not work out. Starting a business takes lots and lots of persistence and even more determination to keep it going…

4. And finally… do you still feel pumped after reading this? Has your curiosity been piqued? Are you still excited about working as a life coach even after reading these questions and feel exhilarated about helping someone in their life?

If you said an enthusiastic “YES!” to these questions then you are definitely choosing the right path for you!

Success requires exactly what the fear avoids.

Some of the most successful people in the world were able to reach their dreams because they devoted themselves and did not let fear stand in their way. In fact, many channeled their fears into motivation to succeed. Cool, right?

The secret to getting rid of fear of failure is to set reasonable goals for yourself.  I’m not talking about goals that you know you can easily achieve (don’t cheap out).

Remember, success requires courageous steps and here are a few to overcome your fear of failure:

1. First, set yourself a big goal which you know you can reach and then work towards it; one step at a time. In the same way that you would climb a ladder.  Start by planning out your first step, then the second and the third until it brings you to your desired end-result.  Create a plan of action.
2. The next step is to learn to appreciate what you have to offer. Your knowledge and past experience should never be taken for granted. Remember to appreciate what you have achieved in the past and use it as motivation to achieve even greater goals.  Create a list of all the amazing things you have accomplished and achieved!
3. Finally, draw inspiration from successful people that were not afraid to face their fear of failure. We all know people who’ve achieved success. Don’t be afraid to ask them how they did it and see if their strategy may work for you.  Contact one person this week and ask them about their path.

Remember the biggest failure of all is when we know what we want but we are too afraid to go after it.  That’s not your path.

We all want to feel successful and know that we are making a positive contribution to the world.  Right? Unfortunately it’s way too easy to set aside healthy habits and sacrifice our own well-being, because we are pushing ourselves to achieve our goals.

Do you love accomplishing your tasks and being ‘productive’? Great!  Let’s face it though… most of time we are overexerting ourselves and it is causing us to stress out. The mental strain of juggling so many different things can leave you feeling drained and exhausted.

Here are a few mentally and physically healthy habits to help you find a balance between meeting your obligations and taking care of yourself:

1. Know your limits – don’t take on more than you can handle. If you know you have an important meeting, make sure you schedule enough time to prepare for it. Don’t think of that time as extra and try to squeeze in another task.
2. Don’t put other people’s needs before your own – If you don’t respect your own boundaries you can’t expect other people to respect them.
3. Schedule time to take care of yourself – don’t wait until the end of the day to see if there is enough time, there never is!  You have to make the time. This includes getting enough sleep, exercise and healthy meals. Also, a regularly scheduled massage, hair appointment and manicure/pedicure never hurt anyone.. heehee
4. Learn to say no – It may feel uncomfortable at the time because you don’t like disappointing anyone.  That shouldn’t stop you from learning to set healthy boundaries.
5. Remind yourself daily – that if you are not taking care of yourself, you are no good to anyone else.  I know that when I’m pushing myself too much and stressing out, I’m horrible company for everyone around me.  So it’s really not worth it to extend yourself to the point where you become crazy.  People who love you want you feeling and acting your best. After all, they benefit from it!

Follow these simple healthy habits and watch your energy skyrocket!

I don’t know why.   I guess I miss something from the beginning of my career.  It’s hard for me to put my finger on it.  There was so much hope, wonder, excitement and unknown in the beginning.  Everything felt like a mystery.  Don’t get me wrong, there was also doubt, fear, and worry… it wasn’t all roses.

Now as I enter my 5^th year as a full time life coach – there isn’t as much mystery as there was.  Maybe that’s why life has offered something new.  I needed more wonder and more of the unknown for me to feel fully alive. I admit I was getting quite comfortable recently.

My marketing was designed to attract my ideal clients.  I was having my favorite conversations over and over again.  I loved it!  I felt like I was doing what I came to do.  I felt purposeful.

And then it hit me – a restlessness inside started to stir – I knew that it was time for something different.

What exactly?

I just knew that something was in the works; life had some little plan brewing (my gypsy senses pick up on that pretty quick!).

Within days of that feeling, I was offered an amazing opportunity to work with the University of British Columbia.  I was offered the honor of helping the medical residents achieve more wellness and leadership.  My practice will be focused on working with the organization to empower these doctors.

To put it lightly, I was offered the coolest job in the world!

This makes more sense if I explain that I began life coaching with the hope to bring meditation to our education system.  So through mindfulness based workshops – I will finally be able to do that.  It feels thrilling and exciting – finally a new challenge to dig my teeth into!

But I just can’t shake off this sadness that’s hanging around me lately and I think it’s from letting go of my practice (the way it has been) and realizing that the initial phase of my career is over.

I’m sharing this because I see so many people wanting to rush through the initial stages of their careers. But I wholehearted believe that we should cherish those moments because when they are gone they are gone forever… Be present, enjoy the ride – every moment is beautiful.

I also don’t want people to start this journey and feel like something is wrong part way through.  It is exciting but it is also very scary because…

It’s not easy to:

Face other people’s opinions.  So many times we value the opinions of other people too much.  It’s important to take their opinions with a grain of salt.  In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts.  Sometimes you must do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

Receive Criticism and Judgements.  “Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -Aristotle.
We can’t control what other people will say to us, whether they’ll approve or form judgements. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it, and when we release it.

Not to worry about money, success and security.  While almost everyone likes stability and security, those pursuing their passion accept and plan for inconsistency in the short term in exchange for a life and career they choose in the long run.  The irony is that those who take responsibility to overcome these mental hurdles and start towards their passion often don’t look back. Fear is short-lived and often replaced by an experience of empowerment and a commitment to success.

Yes you will feel positive about making that leap to follow your passion but it will not always feel comfortable.  The scenery of following your passion is beautiful but the path is paved with all your fears and worries.  This is a great thing because if personal growth is your desire you will always be challenged on this path.  Two birds, one stone?

XO

It’s not because I’m obsessed with feeling bad, I know if we don’t face these things directly they end up wreaking havoc in our lives.  Ignoring them does not make them go away, in fact it makes them stronger.  This meditation will help you shine light in the darkest parts of yourself so you can feel more free and more alive!

Click this image to download the audio

xoxo

He appears totally naive and irresponsible but in reality he has returned to his child-like openness and has relinquished his fears.

This person is living the adventure of their life with complete trust and joy.  Yes, being the fool may not win you popularity contests but it is so much better than being afraid every step of the way.  Don’t you think?

Exercise:   How can you live with more trust today as if all your needs will be completely met? For today, practice living as if you are being supported completely. Go ahead be the fool today and be proud of it!

Resource:  Check out this guy by clicking here!

XO