It’s contest time!I’m feeling like giving something away this week! Yay. If you want to win a free 60 minute coaching call please send me the answer to these 2 questions …
Where do you want to be 6 months from now?
How can coaching support you to get there?
Email me the answers before Monday January 23rd and I will pick 3 lucky winners!
PS: Extra points go to those who also mention WHY they want to achieve their goal.
Good luck!
So… here’s to being single forever! No that’s not a solution sadly.
Seriously though, meaningful relationships should drive you a little bit crazy. Trust me it’s not as weird as it sounds. First of all, deep intimate relationships are not for the faint of heart. Agree?
They will challenge you in ways you’ve never been challenged before, they will bring up your deepest fears and insecurities….
Yes I know I’m leaving out a huge component that separates totally dysfunctional relationships from totally inspiring ones. Here it is:
Both partners must be completely committed to supporting the other (and themselves) to face the self-sabotaging patterns that keep them from being their best.
So many people end relationships abruptly not because they weren’t great for each other but because one or both of them couldn’t commit to the above concept.
Remember: You’re not perfect, she’s not perfect and either is he. We are all just human doing the best we can and sometimes it means we will make mistakes and hurt each other.
What’s important is how you respond after wards. And asking yourself, if that response is truly getting you the result you want.
Intimate relationships are the best mirror into yourself. It is a powerful tool for personal growth if you are willing to handle the heat. What’s the benefit? Well.. what do you think?
Meaningful relationships should drive you crazy but they should also inspire you to learn how to forgive and love deeper then ever before.
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Do you have goals that didn’t get accomplished in 2011? This year don’t let your goals go by the wayside and apply these three simple tips!
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Goal Tip #1: Be clear about why you want this goal. This is the source of your inspiration and motivation. In order to be successful at any goal it’s important to understand why you want to achieve it in the first place. And don’t stop at ‘I just want to look good’. Ask yourself, what would _________ give you? That’s your real why.
Goal Tip #2: Be accountable, ideally to someone who isn’t biased and has your best interests in mind. It could get problematic if your partner is holding you accountable and then just starts getting naggy. That’s totally not inspiring. Maybe a co-worker, friend or coach is a better choice to help you stay accountable.
Goal Tip #3: Keep it S.M.A.R.T. Goals do not happen by accident (I wish!) The SMART acronym is the foundation of any successful goal. Here is what it means:
SPECIFIC: Be able to answer the ~ Who, what, when, where, and why?
MEASURABLE: Ask yourself ~ How will I know when it is accomplished?
ATTAINABLE: Answer this question ~ Do I feel able to achieve this goal or do I need support (coach, dietitian, personal trainer)?
REALISTIC: Ask ~ Do I truly believe I am capable to do it?
TIME-BOUND: When will it be completed? Goals needs to be grounded in a time frame.
Good luck!
xo
Yes, life coaching comes with a warning label. Seems like a harmless profession doesn’t it? Well, it’s not.
I hear this all the time:
“Something isn’t working but I just don’t know what it is.”
Clients come to me to figure out why they are feeling unfulfilled in their lives. Is it their career, health, or a relationship that keeps them up at night?
Why does life coaching have a warning? Because once you become aware, you cannot become unaware. Seems harmless right? Nope. There is a responsibility that comes with awareness and I don’t want you to get clarity when you have no intention to do anything about it.
Does this sound harsh? I hope not. I just don’t want you to torture yourself… I know from experience how much harder it is to ignore truth than it is to be ignorant of it.
Ignoring takes energy and is something I like to call suppression.
But why, you may ask, would someone avoid acting on the clarity they cultivated?! Simple.
Fear.
Here’s a common example: I know that I am totally unsatisfied with my current job and my creative pursuit as a hobby just ain’t going to cut it anymore. I want my passion to be my main thing or at least close to it. In that situation I have two choices – do something about it or just live with it ‘as is’.
Which one do you think is going to slowly eat away at me?
Ya, the doing nothing/ ‘as is’ choice..
That’s because I know what I need to do with all of my heart and I am choosing to not act on it. It would be totally different if I had no idea about what I wanted and I was just ignorant about it…
So before you start working on achieving more clarity in your life stop and ask:
“Am I willing to go all the way no matter what?”
If the answer is “no” then great! Good for you for being honest with yourself. If you said “hell ya!” then I wish you much luck and courage on the adventure that awaits you…
It’s going to be a fun ride!
Powerful questions are like keys to doors within your heart and soul. In our busy lives we don’t really spend enough time asking ourselves powerful questions because we are too busy running around like a chicken with our head chopped off… being oh-so-productive.
Powerful questions help us pause, reflect, adjust and take a moment to see what is REALLY going on in our lives.
Most of us try to seek answers to our deepest yearnings by looking outside for those answers… eventually we discover that they are never found there, only inside our hearts and souls.
Sometimes what we find on the other side of the door is not what we expected or even wanted to find. But when we have the courage to step through those doors we experience a life and joy beyond our imagination.
Powerful questions will move you into a whole new reality and that is because YOU are so powerful! Don’t believe me? Try out this exercise and see for yourself ~
Instructions: Put at least an hour aside to be alone to answer these questions slowly and thoughtfully. Ask yourself which area in your life you are feeling blocked. Is it career, love, or money…? Pick one topic and direct the questions to this challenge you are facing.
WARNING: This exercise may feel uncomfortable and that is totally normal, just stick through it and you will be happy that you did!
1. What do I truly want?
2. What isn’t working anymore?
3. How am I holding myself back?
4. What is my biggest worry/fear?
5. What would happen if nothing changed in 5 years?
6. What needs to change?
7. What would be different in my life if I achieved this?
8. What 3 actions will I take?
9. When will I take action?
10. Is that challenging enough?
11. Why is achieving this important for me?
12. How can I make this process fun?
13. What will inspire me to keep moving forward?
14. What negative beliefs do I need to let go of?
15. What do I need to say NO to?
16. Who will hold me accountable?
17. How will I know when I have achieved my goal?
18. What does achieving this goal represent to me?
19. What is still unclear?
20. What’s next?
As I life coach, freedom is the only thing that really matters. Seriously. Whether someone is coming to see me because they want a healthier body or they want to drop their shitty job and discover what they are truly passionate about – it comes down to this one value:
Weird?… perhaps.
Let me explain my rational though. I love them because they are and will always be my best teacher and honest friends (I use the term ‘friends’ very lightly). They will always tell me the hard truth, not of who I am but of how I’m holding myself back. In their tight grasp is the pearl of my freedom if I’m courageous enough to face it. In case you haven’t noticed freedom is my # 1 value. Being free is more than just being able to indulge in cappuccinos and Italian shoes.
What about money, time, flexibility, education, responsibilities, age, ect? Those things are never the real roadblock; they are just masking a shitty emotion. It’s always the fear of feeling shitty.
Why do you think society sells more pain killers than vitamins? Or why are people 100 times more likely to avoid pain than they are to seek pleasure? Feeling shitty sucks, it’s a fact. Most marketing focuses on this too: Find a problem, offer a solution and focus on how your product/service removes that problem.
I’m not reinventing the wheel here, just sayin’ how it is. But what does all this have to do with your dreams? Everything! If the only thing getting in the way of your dream is a shitty emotion than the solution is simple! Get rid of the shitty emotion? No… Sheesh! That never works for very long (unless you had a continuous slow drip of morphine going through your veins)… okay so that’s not an option. The best solution is…
Get comfortable with shitty emotions! Ya, it’s as simple as that. This great feat is achieved through shifting your perspective and lots of practice. Shifting your perspective involves looking at your challenges differently. It means getting curious about the challenge and looking inside to see where the discomfort is.
Don’t want to look silly, be rejected or be perceived as a failure? What are the sensations/ emotions behind those thoughts? The answer to that is the gold nugget of truth to your challenge.
Seek out what it is that truly makes you feel uncomfortable and practice sitting with it more.
Have you ever had to hang out with someone really annoying because you had to? Maybe your in-laws, cousins, an ex…? It’s kind of the same thing except with this you end up closer to living your dream as a result. Bonus!
There is a huge difference between just noticing a shitty feeling and allowing that shitty feeling to control your behavior. For example, many people avoid taking job promotions because it would involve more public speaking.
This is an example of a fear controlling someone’s behavior The enlightened way to respond is to feel the feeling that sucks and take the promotion anyways, knowing that you are scared shi#less. That’s the difference… did someone say courage?
What’s your dream? What shitty emotion stands between you and it? Are you ready to feel that discomfort and do what you love anyway?
Churchill said it best: Courage is the first of all human qualities, because it is the quality that guarantees all others.
Your time, money and energy are your three most important resources, how well are you at managing all of them?
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