Why we need to change our relationship with anger

Anger has been given a bad name.Vancouver life coach

Yes I know, I know. Anger has caused a lot of problems and anguish in the world.

To be clear, I am not saying that the actions resulting from knee-jerk reactions to anger is good. No, no, no.  Hurting others and hurting ourselves is not cool.  But the emotion itself is A-OK. 

It’s how most people react to anger that has given it a bad rap.

Anger is the umbrella term but imagine anger has cousins too: irritation, annoyance, frustration, restlessness, impatience, agitation… When I refer to anger I’m referring to these guys also.

Anger serves a wonderful purpose!

It’s like our alarm system and tells us if someone is breaching our boundaries, about to breach our boundaries or when we need to expand our horizons and break out of the old molds.

Anger helps you discover your passion/ purpose.

I’ve noticed in my coaching practice over the past 7 years that when a client wants to discover their passion and purpose their root blocks are almost always connected to this emotion. 

They are unable to express anger constructively and it keeps them stuck (which is why they come to see me).

Maybe they had bad experiences with anger growing up. Their parents may have displayed anger and hurt each other or maybe they got in trouble from being angry as a kid so they learned to shut that emotion down. 

Either way, pushing down any emotion is not good and leads to major blocks but expressing it in a healthy and constructive way is what leads to true freedom.

When clients feel and express their anger in a constructive way all of a sudden they start to get creative insights and awareness around their passion and purpose. It’s as if the two have a direct relationship.   

Without anger we wouldn’t have poets, music, artists of all kinds and creative expression!  It’s our fire and we must learn to harness it’s power or we might get burned.

What are the 3 ways to express anger?

Inwards:

Keeping it inside. It’s like swallowing a bomb that no one else sees. This person has a hard time expressing their needs, setting healthy boundaries or asking for what they want. Can lead to depression long-term.

Outwards:

Anger expressed outwardly like through name calling, shouting, hurting others… often stems from a fear of being taken advantage of.

Creatively:

My favorite and in my opinion the best way to express this emotion. Dancing, running, working-out, singing, journaling, painting, drawing… you get the picture. Any activity that allows you to express this emotion in a creative/ constructive way.

 

Why should I express anger again?

Well, you don’t have to… it’s just my humble opinion that it’s a good thing to do.  Think of anger as a lid to a cute little mason jar, when you feel the anger you remove the lid and gain access to the contents inside.

What’s inside? 

Well, you can count on softer more vulnerable emotions to be below the surface.  Giving creative expression to your anger will allow you to access those deeper emotions so you can let them go (feel to heal) and move on without the clutter of the past dragging you down

Simple, right?

Okay, maybe not but it is worth the effort because life only opens up and provides opportunities when we allow ourselves to feel everything and accept everything with love.

 

Let’s try some homework this week!

Tap into your anger this week by expressing it in more creative ways so you can bring more passion and energy into your life!  Use one of the examples above or try your own. 

 

XOX

 

Like this post? Make sure you don't miss my next one - It's free!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted on: No Comments

Leave a Reply